"
...
Would I tell a man to be more vocal or aggressive?
...
Am I placing unfair expectations on an introvert?
...
Is it irrefutable or actionable to tell someone 
“You tend to be harsh in conversation with others”?
...
Maybe I need to tell a non-native English speaker to participate 
more in team discussions, but I probably also want to tell others 
to interrupt less and provide alternative ways to give feedback 
on technical decisions. 
"